Thursday, 14 May 2009

The World's worst lyrics, with free witty commentary.

I've been running this feature in my Paper for a while now, here are the best ones, starting with Christmas!

"When The Snowman Brings the Snow..."
- Slade demonstarte a complete lack of meteological knowledge.

"Let all the people say Amen
In every tribe and tongue
Let every heart's desire be joined
To see the kingdom come"
- I'm not sure Bin Laden sings this while sipping his eggnog. Sorry Cliff. Fucking travesy of a song by the way.

"Santa Baby, Come trim my christmas tree"
- I bet Santa would have killed Mrs Claus just to trim Ms. Monroe's tree.

Thank god thats over...

"One, two buckle my shoe
Three, four step inside the venue"
- Craig David's pre-gig ritual ensures he doesn't trip up over this laces. You can't ever be safe from loose shoes.

"I aint never seen,
An ass like that.
The way you move it,
Makes my pee-pee go doing doing doing."
- Now THIS is gansta rappin'. You so ghetto Eminem.

"Young, black and Famous,
With money hangin' out the anus."
- Wouldn't a wallett make more sense P Diddy???

"Touch my bum,
This is life."
- Yes Cheeky girls. That IS life.

"In Portugese it means bring your ass on the dance floor and move it real fast,
I want to see your kitty and a little bit of titty
Want to know where I go when I'm in you city?"
- Kevin Federline are you comparing a this poor womans holiest of holes to a city??? Thats plain harsh.

And now, offically the worst piece of lyricism ever, the lyric that makes Shakespeare turn in his grave, vomit, poo himself and then not no where to turn next...

"I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight I fear the most,
I'd rather have a piece of toast,
Watch the evening news."
- Desree discovers

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